I understand the vulnerability of this moment. Making that phone call may feel like a huge risk. But it may also become a pivotal moment in your life.
Much as an eating disorder may look like iit's about food, it is really about the belief that you must process your thoughts, feelings, fears, confusion, alone. This belief affects your whole life, not just your relationship with food. Food is the way you try to help yourself think and the way you try to comfort yourself. But each time food doesn't provide you with the comfort you really need, your sense of failure and disappointment in yourself only gets re-confirmed. The entire cycle of bingeing, purging, remorse, guilt, and pain goes around and around inside of you, despite your endless efforts at stopping, intervening, or making sense of it on your own.
Therapy helps you intervene in that solitary, painful process. It is the first step toward thinking together, and making sense of what otherwise seems like it makes little sense. It is a way of breaking out of the cycle, a way of not being alone anymore. In therapy there is no “right or wrong” or “good or bad.” We work together to see the world as you see it, to understand how you have been trying to help yourself, not hurt yourself or others. We find ways to help you feel nourished and not starved.
I hope you will call or write and take the chance. I will be happy to hear from you.